A Bag of Weed is a song sung by Stewie and Brain in Family Guy. It's a parody on the Sherman Brothers Chitty Chitty Bang Bang song, Me Ol' Bamboo.
Lyrics[]
Stewie: Now everybody gather 'round and listen if you would. When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good. Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick.
Stewie & Brian: But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick.
All: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight. A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed. Oh, Everything is better with A Bag of Weed. It's the only hope that you'll ever need. Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed.
Stewie: There you go, you're all getting it now.
Ensemble: When Texas people want to feel good,...
Stewie: They go assault a queer.
Ensemble: When stupid people need a thrill,...
Stewie: They rent The Rocketeer.
Ensemble: When Michael Jackson needs a rush,...
Stewie: He humps a guy like me.
Ensemble: Right!
All: But all we need is a bag of weed, To keep us worry free. One, Two, Three, HO! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed. Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed. Oh, you don't need meth and you don't need speed. Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed
Stewie: Have a go, Brian!
Brian: As Mr. H.L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool."
Stewie: And just like Helen Keller said, "Doof stoo gee nay foo tool."
Brian: But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear.
All: HEY! Cuz all we need is a bag of weed. To make us wanna cheer! And One, Two! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed. Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed. You can try and fight but we're all agreed. Because everything is better with A Bag of Weed.
(break)
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, And One, Two, Three, Four, And A Five, And A Six, And A Seven! HO!! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed. Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed. You're a happy guy when you plant the seed. Because everything is better with A Bag...
Of...
Weed! Oh ev'rything is better with a bag of weed!!